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Monday, May 20, 2013

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, May 20, 2013 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You could plan a pretty picnic (you could plan a pretty picnic), but you can't predict the weather, Ms. Jackson. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Three months after we caught 'em hacking, the Chinese hackers have resumed attacking American targets—this time employing different tactics. Sounds like someone is challenging us to a... hack war!!

The Washington Post is reporting that the Obama administration spied on Fox reporter James Rosen, collecting phone records, tracking his movement in and out of the state department, and seizing two days worth of emails. Gaaaaaaaaaahhh.

Britain is experiencing a measles epidemic, reportedly because of the millions of parents who refused to give their babies vaccines, due to fears of autism. Thanks again, Jenny McCarthy!

Tornadoes creamed Oklahoma and the midwest yesterday, and more trouble is on the way.

Yahoo buys Tumblr, but promises "not to screw it up." Why does that make me more nervous than ever?

According to news sources there, two CIA agents allegedly working for us and Israel were hanged in Iran on Sunday.

A hero cop—who sat next to Michelle Obama four years ago during a presidential speech—has now been accused of rape.

A masked assailant uses a girl as a human shield, then points his gun at the cop. What happens next is incredibly sad.

Pastor E.W. Johnson, a candidate for lieutenant governor of Virginia, compared Planned Parenthood to the KKK. You know... I'm sorry, I just don't see the connection!

Here's more info on.... MOON BLAST 2013!

The honeymoon's over... Justin Bieber is BOOOOOOOED at the Billboard Music Awards.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Mostly sunny today with a high of 74, but tomorrow? Wear your galoshes!

And finally, would you like to be "Reg Rolled" by Reggie Watts? The answer to this question, is yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

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