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Monday, May 20, 2013

SL Letter of the Day: Gonna Boil My Laptop After Answering This One

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, May 20, 2013 at 10:28 AM

I'm 33, living in Colorado with my partner of a year now. We're happy together and have great sex. We have the best and most healthy relationship I have ever been in.... except for a fetish my partner has. He's into fucking dogs. Large dogs to where the dog isn't hurt or uncomfortable, but dogs nonetheless. It doesn't come up often. Soon after we started dating he confessed this to me and we talked about it. I am okay with him exploring that area of his sexuality, but I don't want to have any part in it. He wants us to both explore it together. This doesn't appeal to me in the least and wasn't an issue until recently. He's been getting more vocal about wanting us to get into that kink together, taking it as far as video bombing me with dog/man porn from his iPhone. What do I do? I made it plainly clear I don't want any part in this but left him open to explore on his own. I feel he wants me to be as into it as he is but I'm not and I know I never will be. Is there a solution to the problem or is there a deeper issue going on here that needs outside help?

Thanks for any advice.

Fretting Into Dog Obsession

My response after the jump...

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So your partner is great and life is sweet and the sex is awesome... but your partner fucks dogs and the fact that you're willing tolerate the dog-fucking aspect of his personality (!!!) isn't good enough for the dog fucker in your life. And while your partner must know that there aren't a lot of non-zoophiles out there who would partner with an active zoophiles—because most people have pretty strict dudes-that-dick-dogs-will-never-dick-me rule—instead of being thankful that he found the one-in-a-zillion non-zoophile who can put up with his dog fucking, FIDO, this idiot dog fucker is badgering you with man/dog porn in the hopes that you'll take up recreational dog fucking yourself.

Ugh.

Run, FIDO, run.

DTDFA.

And after you've run off and found a new home—maybe on a nice farm in the country somewhere—you should spend a week or two thinking about your standards, FIDO. I'm thinking you might wanna add one or two items to your apparently very short (or non-existent) list of deal breakers. The ability to tolerate sexual interests you do not share is a good relationship skill. No argument there. But "doesn't fuck dogs" isn't setting the bar too high.

P.S. Before anyone accuses me of hypocrisy: While I'm generally pro-kink, and while I have urged people to give their partner's reasonable kinks a chance, there are limits. And dog fucking—like shit eating—exceeds all reasonable limits. Hell, I don't even think dog fucking should be called a "kink." It belongs in its own category.

Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake. Please, God, let this one be fake.

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