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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

SL Letter of the Day: Not Bad Work for a Biphobic, Transphobic, Polyphobic Asshole

Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jun 12, 2013 at 10:29 AM

I am a 30-year-old queer trans man. (Three months into transitioning.) For the longest time, I thought I was a horrible person. I couldn't be in a relationship without cheating, or going from person to person because I always wanted something new. I met my wife when I was a lesbian and fell head over heels. We were together for two years and then had a kid. Two months into the pregnancy the sex stopped and we had sex four times in two years. I dealt with it as best I could. Then I started T three months ago and my sex drive tripled.

This is not a question. This is a sincere thank you. About a year into our relationship, we found your podcast. We both fell in love with it and listened with open ears. It helped me with so many things like realizing I like men also, understanding bisexuality, not judging poly, and so many other things. You have saved me, Dan, you have saved my marriage. From listening to hundreds of your shows, we were able to talk to each other realistically about how we felt and we realized that we both are the kind of people who jump from relationship to relationship because we need new. And yet we still want to be together and own a home and raise our child. Before you, I fell into the bullshit idea that I had to live the stereotypical life. And it terrified me to think that my sex life was over and yet I couldn't face losing the love of my life. Now, we have negotiated an open relationship and we feel great about it.

Thank you, Dan, you made me realize I can be me and be married. You saved me in more ways than you will ever know.


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