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Thursday, June 27, 2013

Ned Lannamann's Worst. Night. Ever.

Posted by Courtney Ferguson on Thu, Jun 27, 2013 at 11:14 AM


It's back! Welcome to the triumphant return of the Blogtown series we like to call "Worst. Night. Ever." Every Wednesday during our weekly "My, What a Busy Week!" pitch meetings, someone suggests an event which is the equivalent of throwing acid in our eyes—but we also realize a more enlightened person might love it! Hence, these "risky" events are often unfairly pushed aside. WELL, NO MORE. Instead of allowing what could be entirely worthy events to vanish forever, we're asking you—yes, YOU—the Blogtown readers to decide which of these events one of us should attend... whether we like it or not!

Every week an editorial staff member will be presented with three events that do not match their personality or interests... like, AT ALL. And here's the fun part: YOU will vote on and pick the event that must be attended by our unlucky staffer. Afterward he or she will review it right here on the blog! NOTE: Everyone's taste is different, right? So while Dirk might enjoy nothing more than a rousing afternoon of bike-based ballet, it might send Marjorie into rageful fits! That's why you might find a perfectly pleasant event or two in the list below. Also, competitors must stay for at least two hours (or until the event is over, whichever comes first) and are not allowed to get drunk, or use any substances (drugs) or distractions (phone/reading material) to dull the pain they may experience. Now let's see who is up this week:

Music Editor Ned Lannamann's Worst. Night. Ever.

Ned Lannamann enjoys Neil Young, the Beatles, most music... really, classic films, tasty beers, and puppy dogs. He despises Daft Punk's new album (I KNOW, RIGHT?!) and making a fool of himself. For his previous Worst Nights, Ned has been forced to busk on Portland's streets and take a very enjoyable bike ride to look at Portland's bodies of water. While the busking sounded awkward, the bike ride was a breeze for Mr. Music. Put that in your bonnet when considering which event to vote for in this outing. To the polls, Blogtown!

US Open Footbag Net Championships
This championship is apparently a "premier" footbag event. Yeah, I don't know what that is either—but I envision lots of kicks to the scrabble bag—let's go to the game tapes:

Looks like Irish dancing to me. Ned would have to take a beginners' hacky sack class and report on the sweet hacks being hacked by the pro 'baggers. Bonus points for video of Ned completing an epic hack or "ham spalts" or "bag daggers." And remember, he won't be able to partake in any kind bud for the event; he is, however, free to become kind buddies with any number of footbaggers.

Summer All-Comer Track Meet
This is an open track meet with the full gamut of field events: high jump, long jump, softball throw (is that a legitimate field event?!), shotput, relays, and all manner of dashes. It's a family-friendly, all-ages event, so Ned would have to share the track with a bunch of spry eight-year-olds. Ned must also participate in at least three events of his choosing. Don't worry, the Mercury has pretty good health insurance. Plus, it's at Franklin High School and we could all go watch! I'm hoping to see some shotput action.

Hawthorne Laughter Club
And bwah hah, this! This is a laughter yoga class that has about 15-20 "laughers" every week. I'll let the laughmasters of the Laughter Club explain:

Laughter Yoga is a unique new physical activity where anyone can learn to laugh for no reason at all! These laughter exercises are interspersed with gentle yogic breathing and stretching exercises, rhythmic clapping and chanting. Laughter Yoga is fun & easy! Anyone can learn to laugh without a sense of humor, jokes or comedy. In Laughter Yoga, we use laughter as a tool, not an emotion. Through group activity and eye contact simulated laughter exercises quickly become real, contagious and enthusiastic laughter.

Tee hee.

Well, this is a tough decision. Choose wisely. Polling closes at noon on Friday!

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