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Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jul 3, 2013 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! When you're gone I do my own thing. And I catch a bone while you're doggin' me. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

The pimple in Egypt is getting ready to pop as the military prepares to make good on its deadline to force President Morsi to step down—who's really just not in the mood.

The Muslim Brotherhood, who backed President Morsi and has been one of the most powerful forces in Egypt for 80 years, is quickly falling apart, with members being gunned down in the streets and its headquarters burned.

The Edward Snowden drama continues after the Bolivian president hints that his country might take in the fugitive, and has his plane rerouted to Austria because of fears Snowden was on board. STOP FREAKING OUT YOU GUYS YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS NOW.

Obama calls for a one year delay on a key element of his health care plan—where businesses must provide health care for their employees or face fines. (Naturally it's to protect the reelection plans of simpering Democrats.)

Two HIV patients who had bone marrow transplants are now off drugs and apparently virus free. (But before you get too happy, don't forget those millions of people with HIV and no access to cancer treatment hospitals.)

The Cleveland kidnapper (who held three women against their will for ten years) is headed to court where the judge says he's not too cray-cray to stand trial.

I'd provide a link for this story about Twilight's Robert Pattinson dating Elvis Presley's granddaughter... but I can't work up the energy.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: A comfy 84 degrees today, and an even more comfy 78 degrees for your Fourth of July!

And finally, the Onion brings us this tech story about Samsung who has developed a new computer that beams the internet into one eyeball, movies and TV into the other, AND sucks your dick simultaneously. Apple will have a tough time topping this one. (Language NSFW, because they do a lot of yelling about dick sucking.)

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