GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I feel the night explode when we're together. Emotion overload, in the heat of pleasure. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Egyptian soldiers fire upon pro-Morsi demonstrators, reportedly killing 51 civilians and wounding 300.

More information on the weekend crash of Asiana flight 214 in San Francisco, and unsurprisingly, it sounds terrifying.

More terror: A small Alaskan commuter plane goes down, killing all 10 aboard.

More terror: A runaway train crashes into a Canadian town, setting off huge explosions—40 people are currently missing.

GAH! Even more terror: A player is stabbed and a referee is stoned to death and dismembered following the most terrifying soccer game ever.

NSA leaker Edward Snowden is still stuck in that Russian airport, but has two things going for him: 1) He has three options for countries who are offering asylum (most recently Venezuela), and 2) CINNABUN.

Eliot Spitzer, who was involved in a prostitution scandal back in 2008, reenters politics and will be running for NYC comptroller. Or as the always subtle New York Post headline describes it... "Here We Ho Again."

Our do-nothing Congress returns to "work" today to do absolutely nothing about student loans, the farm bill and immigration reform.

According to a new study, one in four injured teens admitted to a Michigan emergency room either own or are carrying a gun, most obtained illegally. BECAUSE GUNS KEEP US SAFER!

Dogs in Happy Valley are confiscated after they attack and maul a smaller dog on a walk—and it's not the first time this has happened.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Only partly cloudy today with temps hitting 82—and no rain in sight for the rest of the week.

And finally, after a morning filled with terror, let's end on a terrifying note: a baby King Cobra swallows a water snake whole! GAAAHHH!! And.. awwwwWWWwwww.