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Thursday, July 11, 2013

Why Erik Henriksen Shot Himself in the Head

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jul 11, 2013 at 2:59 PM

It's not every day you hear a gunshot ring out in the Mercury offices... it's more like every other day. But today when I heard a tell-tale BLAM!!, I had a couple of minutes to spare, so I decided to investigate... and yep! It was senior editor Erik Henriksen with a bullet lodged in his temple, face down on his computer (actually OUR computer—his relatives owes us $3000 for blood damage).

After calling the cleaning crew, I was just about to get back to work... but. For some reason I was curious—again, had a couple of minutes to spare—so I checked out his computer to see if he had witnessed something that caused him to take his own life. It was this:

Britney Spears singing a song from Smurfs 2 called "Ooh La La," which co-stars her actual sons. (Before perishing, Erik scrawled the following message in blood on his desk: "ONE OF HER KIDS IS WEARING A CATCHER IN THE RYE SHIRT.")

So I watched the entire thing, and... wow. Yeah, it's pretty bad. OH WELL! Back to work.

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