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Thursday, July 25, 2013

This Would Be Such a Great "Worst. Night. Ever."

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jul 25, 2013 at 9:46 AM

This email just popped into my in-box:

Hi William,

We hope you can attend Portland's "Happiness Sprinkling Project" Friday:

What:
Local residents participate in a "Happiness Sprinkling." Volunteers will be wearing bright yellow shirts and holding large signs with positive affirmations such as "It's Going to be Okay," "Tell Them You Love Them," "Trust Yourself," "Live Your Dream," and "Sure You Can."

Who:
The Happiness Sprinkling Project is a nationally expanding grassroots effort to create joy founded by Laura Lavigne, director of the Anacortes (Wash.) Center for Happiness; headed locally by Peter Nickol. Volunteers have sprinkled happiness in nearly 20 cities across the United States and Canada.

Why:
"It is so simple that is almost silly," said Lavigne. "It is so much fun that it can hardly be considered work. Yet, it is powerful, powerful work." The act of spreading happiness to someone who may need it, or receiving happiness from someone offering it, is profoundly gratifying. Participants and onlookers describe the experience as amazing, exhilarating, awesome, and even life-changing.

When:
Friday July 26, 4:30-5:30 p.m.

Where:
Pioneer Place, corner of SW 5th and Morrison, parking in city lots

Did you know that actually, in real life, I'm a kind person? I help people out all the time: I say nice things about their work or if they happen to be wearing a particularly fetching article of clothing, I smile at random people, and I even pick up garbage off the ground. But this? THIS MAKES ME ANGRY. Go and do this if you want, but I'm not going to wear a fucking yellow shirt, I'm not going to hold a sign, and I'm not going to be in Pioneer Place this Friday at 4:30. I'm going to continue doing nice things every day of my life without looking like a marshmallow peep, waving a sign, or otherwise bringing it to anyone's fucking attention. (Except for what I just did, of course.)

HAVE A NICE DAY, GUYS.

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