COMEDY—We've had a good run, but the time has come for beloved local comedian—and Mercury columnist!—Ian Karmel to move to LA so he can get famous and forget all of our names. He's bidding the city farewell in the only manner that makes sense: with a comedy show. Don't miss it. AH Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 8 pm, $10
MUSIC—It's Summer Cannibals' coming-out party, as the Portland post-punkers celebrate the release of their fine debut album, No Makeup. Get there in plenty of time for Grandparents' dream-manifesting haze-pop and the skin-shedding, nutzoid, sonic tidal wave of XDS. NL Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $5
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