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Friday, August 16, 2013

Today in Hollywood Is Terrible

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Fri, Aug 16, 2013 at 11:23 AM

Via FilmDrunk (which also has the link to the original ending of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, whaaaaaat) comes the news that the rebooted Ninja Turtles movie has been delayed again—but this time it's so they can sell more toys.

It’s being moved because Transformers 4 is also coming out on June 27, and they’re worried that us poor folk won’t be able to buy our stupid wiener kids all of the expensive toys from both of the films, according to Deadline. Because, as we all learned in the first day of How to Make Movies class at the University of Cha Ching, it’s not about the quality of the product on the screen as much as it’s about the amount of toys in our kids’ hands. (Via.)

Just to clarify: We now live in an era in which two Michael Bay productions (he's directing Trans4mers, he's producing Turtles) are jostling for release dates due to merchandising concerns. This has been your daily reminder that everything in Hollywood is terrible. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles—which I am weirdly curious to see, given my childhood love for all things ninja turtle and the fact that the film features a what-the-fuck cast of Megan Fox, William Fichtner, Will Arnett, Whoopi Goldberg, and Mickey from Seinfeld—is now coming out on... eh, fuck it. They'll probably change the release date again when they realize they'll be competing with toys from Spider-Man, Godzilla, How to Train Your Dragon, X-Men 43, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Captain America.

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