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Monday, September 9, 2013

The Breaking Bad Chitty Chat Club!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Sep 9, 2013 at 10:44 AM

Whoa, holy crapola! Another great, heart-stopping episode of the best series currently on TV, Breaking Bad! Did you watch it last night? Would you like to chitty-chat about it? I hope so, because poop is getting REAL, and there's a lot to say! Join me after the jump for a spoiler-filled recap, your hotsy-totsy commentary, and a Home Depot plastic barrel full of CHITTY-CHAT.

Look at the billboard and look at my face... DO YOU SEE ANY DIFFERENCE?
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Look at the billboard and look at my face... DO YOU SEE ANY DIFFERENCE?"

Okay, BB fans—here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "To’hajiilee".

1) The episode opens with Lydia trying to nicely critique Meth Damon (Todd) and his Nazi Uncle about their meth, which is only 76 percent pure—and isn't even BLUE. Ummm... say what you will about skin-heads, but usually they pay a little more attention to detail! But what's this? Meth Damon is in SMOOCH-WOOCHY love with Lydia, and as Journey plays in the background, swears to get the meth up to her standards, and... hold on. Meth Damon's got a call ("She blinded me with SCIENCE!"). Oh, it's Walt and he wants Meth Damon's uncle to send Jesse on a one-way trip to Belize. (Note to anyone talking about murdering someone else on a cell phone. That's at least 76 percent of a terrible idea.)

2) Hank and Gomie take a fake pic of Jesse with his brains blown out to scare "Better Call" Saul's henchman Huell into spilling where Walt's money is hiding. It partially works, and puts into play the most awesome Jesse plan ever!

3) Meanwhile, in order to flush out Jesse so Skinhead and Co. can kill him, Walt goes to the one place he knows will freak his former assistant out: Andrea and ex-poisoned kid Brock's house. (BTW, did that poison affect his manners? Hey Brock! Learn to smile when an adult enters the room! Runny-nosed punk.) Walt tells Andrea that Jesse's on a bender, so she'll leave a message with him, thereby leaving the impression that Walt is gonna eat all of Brock's Froot Loops or something.

4) However! Jesse out-tricks the trickster (with help from Hank) by phoning him with a fake pic of a buried barrel of money, and saying, "We know where your moolah is, bitch! Yo, yo, yo! I sound just like Randy Jackson, dawg!" Walt panics, and high-tails it out to the desert as Jesse continues to berate him. Walt also tells Skinhead & Co. where he'll be so they can put Jesse on the next flight to Belize, with the opportunity to upgrade to first class. (Luggage is extra, though!)

5) Walt arrives in the desert, realizes he's been bamboozled, and hides out behind a rock to await his fate. he tells Skinhead & Co. to cancel the flight—but we all knew at that point what was gonna happen, right? Hank, Gomie, and Jesse arrive and arrest Walt—which tickles Jesse to no end. (He knows he's gonna get arrested too, right?) But what's this? Heyyyy, I thought Walt told you guys to NOT come out to the desert and to NOT kill Jesse! Somebody needs to file a complaint with Skinhead & Co.'s customer service department, because their representatives DO... NOT... LISTEN.

6) And then? BLAM BLAM BLAM POW POW POW SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT PEW PEW PEW, and... scene.

7) Another fantastic, super tense episode. My first question for you guys: Is there any way Hank is gonna walk away from this? How about Jesse? Is he gonna survive this shoot-out? And is Gomie kicking himself right now or what? Only three episodes left, people! Think next episode will leap into the future (where Walt has hair, guns in his trunk, and some jerk has spray painted "Heisenberg" on his living room wall)? LEAVE YOUR VIEWS IN THE COMMENTS BELOW, and don't forget... have an A-1 day!

This desert massacre brought to you by... Coke! Its the Real Thing!
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "This desert massacre brought to you by... Coke! It's the Real Thing!"

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