GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Are you feeling my Timb's, my baggy jeans, my thug appeal? Do you like it when a man can keep it real? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

A manhunt is on for a gunman (perhaps more) suspected in a D.C. naval office building shooting in which at least 10 were shot, including two police officers—and it all went down not very far away from the White House. Multiple deaths are reported.

The UN report on Syria is due today, and is expected to reveal that the country shows "signs of culpability" since the perpetrators of last month's chemical attack had up to 350 liters of sarin gas. Get ready for "signs of culpability" to be the hot new phrase of 2013!

Happy five year anniversary of the financial crisis everybody! Let's celebrate by splurging on ramen noodles!

Around 1,000 people are still awaiting evacuation following massive floods in Colorado.

A man trying to escape North Korea is shot by the military at the border.

In news that will not shock you at all, an unarmed North Carolina black man is shot by police after seeking help following a car crash. The main difference between this and so many other shootings? Police admitted fault right away.

Guess which college this troubling tradition takes place in: "In the annual event, upper classmen - some dressed as gods and goddesses and others dressed in nothing at all - gather around incoming freshmen walking into Vollum Hall and demand libations to the gods in return for "promised good luck" in the coming school year." You guessed right: REED COLLEGE.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Cool and cloudy with a 40 percent chance of showers, tomorrow looks the same—but a much drier Wendesday and Thursday.

And finally, let's all laugh at this kid who stepped in dog poop! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA! What's up, poopy foot?? HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!