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Monday, September 16, 2013

It's the Breaking Bad Chitty-Chat Club!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Sep 16, 2013 at 10:29 AM

Holy crap, what a gut punch of an episode, am I right? So much to discuss about last night's insane episode of Breaking Bad—so let's hop right into it! Tons of spoilery spoilers after the jump, and of course, your incisive, not stupid at all comments as well. Let's start CHITTY-CHATTING!

Hello? Yes, may I call in my chitty-chat from here? Good. First question: ARE THE POLICE WITH YOU?
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Hello? Yes, may I call in my chitty-chat from here? Good. First question: ARE THE POLICE WITH YOU?"

Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "Ozymandias."

1) Guys! "Ozymandias" isn't just the dickhead superhero from The Watchmen! He's also the subject of a poem by Shelley about a king who meets his downfall—and it's hard to imagine a greater downfall than "King Meth" Walter White experienced last night. The episode started with a whimsical flashback to Walt and Jesse's first Winnebago meth cook out in the desert, where Walt calls then-pregnant Skyler to discuss their future baby's name. It was a great scene that establishes how far Walt has fallen since those days of simply trying to provide for his family. It was also the exact same locale as THE SHOOT OUT.

2) Bang! Bang! Pew! Pew! Shoot! Shoot! We pick up right where we left off from last episode, except Gomie is dead (poor Gomie!) and Hank is wounded in the leg. Determined to go down fighting, Hank crawls for the shotgun, but is stopped by Meth Damon's skinhead uncle. Walt offers his buried $80 million in exchange for Hank's life—but Hank calls Walt an idiot because Skinhead Uncle made up his mind ten minutes a—BLAM.

3) A moment of silence for Hank. What a fanfuckingtastic character.

4) Naturally, Skinhead Uncle figures out where the money barrels are buried, but gives one to Walt and calls it "square." Jesse is captured and carried off by Meth Damon to be interrogated and then killed. Walt is completely utterly broken by Hank's death—but gets off a parting shot at the soon to be Belized Jesse: He watched his heroin overdosing girlfriend die, and did nothing to help. (Actually, he did more than that. He rolled her onto her back, so she'd choke on her own vomit. So don't get it twisted, Walt! For you, that was MURDER NUMBER ONE.)

5) On his way back, Walt's shot-up car runs out of gas, and he's forced to roll his money barrel across the desert. HAW! HAW! HAW! He buys a Native American's truck, which is absolutely FILTHY! Better take it to...

6) THE CAR WASH. Marie comes in to gloat to Skyler about Hank catching Walt (poor Marie) and forces Skyler to confess all to Walt Junior, who—well, let's just say he doesn't have an A-1 day.

7) Turns out Meth Damon isn't as dumb as he looks—he's going to get Jesse to teach him how to cook meth better (so he can impress Lydia)! Who says true love is dead?

8) Walt rushes back to the ranch to pack, and is interrupted by Skyler and Walt Jr. He's yelling, "Get your stuff, and let's get outta here," and Skyler is all like, "Umm... shouldn't you be arrested? WHERE'S HANK?" She refuses to leave, attacks him with a knife, and a possible death is averted by Walt Jr. who calls 911 and is REALLY SICK OF THIS SHIT. Then Walt does the unthinkable: He takes baby Holly and flees, and OH NO, HE DIDN'T.

9) Changing Holly's diaper in a truckstop bathroom, Walt is totally manipulated by Holly's cries of "Mama! Mama!" (Uggh! Kids are the worst.) So again, Walt does the unthinkable: He calls Skyler—who he KNOWS is surrounded by the police, and plays the role of the crazy, abusive, husband/Meth King in a bid to get Skyler off the hook. They both know this is their goodbye.

10) After dropping Holly off at the fire station, Walt is seen getting into the car of the "disappearing guy" hired by "Better Call" Saul. Away he drives... and this could've been the end of the series! BUT NO! We have two more episodes left... and how could they possibly be better than this one???

11) WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK OF THAT? Below tell me your odds on Jesse and Walt surviving, and any final words for the dear, departed Hank. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK FOR MORE CHITTY-CHATTING!

Dont cry, Holly. Daddys just taking a trip... to BELIZE.
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Don't cry, Holly. Daddy's just taking a trip... to BELIZE."

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