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Thursday, September 19, 2013

SL Letter of the Day: OKStupid

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Sep 19, 2013 at 10:29 AM

I'm an attractive single 28-year-old woman in Chicago with a decent dating life and an OKCupid profile that attracts all sorts of absurd male attention. Wanted to share the following exchange I just had with some guy who doesn't even have a profile. (I'll spare you his response back to me, which was filled with the scariest misogynist assholery you've even seen.) I've tried to ignore any unwanted/gross messages on OKCupid but this guy's message was the straw that broke the camel's back. Was I right to respond?

I'm sure you're busy being an awesome activist and banging your hot, hot husband (God, I love Terry's Insta), but if you have any time or opinion on this, I'd love to hear what you think about whether us women must suffer in silence and demure to this shit if we don't want to be targets. It's usually easy to laugh off weird cyber attention, but at some point, are we justified in telling men off?

Thanks For The Weekly Entertainment

You were absolutely right to respond. I only wish you had included his scary misogynist asshole response back to you, TFTWE, along with his email address... which I would've been pleased to publish.

The note TFTWE got for the scary misogynist asshole and her blistering response to him... after the jump...

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Message from kindacurious18:

Hi there! Your profile caught my eye as you are particularly pretty. After much contemplation, I figured I'd go out on a limb and just send this message. I'm new to this website and am actually in Chicago on business rather often. I travel a lot for work, so hotel boredom seems to have gotten the best of me.

Frankly I was wondering if you'd be interested in some respectful, mutually beneficial fun. A hook-up, so to speak. I haven't really done this before, but figure two consenting adults are entitled to some safe fun, so here I am proposing an...indecent proposal so to speak.

Well, there I said it. I have plenty more pictures. I was hoping maybe we could chat, I could show you my face (I assure you it matches/exceeds the body) and we could go from there?

OK I'm going to hit send before I talk myself out of it.

Hope to hear back soon,

A.

Hey, “A”!

I admit, I was pretty excited when I saw your message… because as you know, every woman dreams of being bedded by a mysterious out of town businessman who takes naked torso selfies in his hotel bathroom mirror. I’m definitely looking for casual sex with someone who will withhold everything about himself and woo me with a generic message that’s been copied and pasted roughly as many times as you’ve stroked your own junk. Obviously you intuited that from my profile! It must have been the intro where I used the email from my mom. I can’t believe you think I’m “particularly” pretty! This is the validation I’ve always craved, and the key to luring me to your undisclosed location so I can indulge this never been tried before “indecent proposal.” If you just send me your social security number, bank account info, and home address, I’ll hustle over there pronto.
Here’s a little tip for you (I know, I know, you wanted more than just the tip): the thing about online dating websites is... you can check the "interested in casual sex" box! If you provide a decent narrative about yourself and something other than a creepy photo of your average chest, some women might actually go for it. If you’re as attractive and smooth as you clearly think you are, lay your intentions out after a few cocktails and see where that takes you.

Better luck next time. Swing and a miss, buddy.

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