This Week in the Mercury

Everything as Fuck
Not Too Late

Film

Not Too Late

Taking in the Films of Ruben Östlund



Friday, September 20, 2013

Point/Counterpoint: Who Is More Annoying, Bucket Drummers or For-Profit Fundraisers?

Posted by Alex Falcone on Fri, Sep 20, 2013 at 9:59 AM

bucket-drummer.jpg
Point: Bucket Drummers Are The Worst

There is nothing more annoying than a bucket drummer. Unlike any other annoying people downtown, bucket drummers have the unique ability to drive you crazy from up to two blocks away!

There are loads of cool things a talented drummer can do, but for some reason, the drummers of Portland buckets don't seem to know any. It seems they're more interested in banging at random on a pile of garbage in front of the mall.

Busking is a perfectly reasonable activity for a musician, but bucket drums are to music what those Jesusy comic books are to Moby-Dick.

fundraisers.jpg
Counter-Point: I'd Rather Have A Bucket Drummer In My Living Room Than a For-Profit Fundraiser Anywhere In My City
You know what's great about bucket drummers? They're immobile. The binder-toting canvassers downtown will follow you while you're walking, they'll try to touch you, they'll pretend that they're just being friendly, they'll do whatever it takes to stop you from getting where you're going.

While drummers just make their music and leave it up to you to give them money or not, the binder beggars will pretend to be a friend. They will lie. They will say anything to separate you from your credit card number.

And while drummers may fill up a whole corner, the fundraising minions set up on opposite sides of the street so you can't even cross to avoid them.

More on Comedy

Comments (10)

Showing 1-10 of 10

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-10 of 10

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy