Originally published June 30, 2005:
My boyfriend and I are 18, and we're in love. He recently decided that he is against abortion, to the point where he won't have sex with me unless I agree to have the kid if I get pregnant. I told him there's no way I can agree to that. It's my choice, but he says it's his choice if he wants to stop having sex with me. (Which is something he read in your column, BTW.) Where do I go from here? I can't be celibate until I'm ready to have a kid. But I don't want to break up with someone I love because of a sincere moral disagreement. What now?
One Boy's Girl Yearns Nervously
As a general rule, OBGYN, fertile pro-choice girls shouldn't have premarital sex with controlling anti-choice boys. But you love him, and sometimes love makes exceptions. So if you do stay with him, and you agree and/or pretend to agree to his conditions, and you get pregnant, and you do decide to have an abortion, what the hell is he going to do about it? Lock you in the trunk of his car for nine months? Whatever you tell him now, it will still be your body, and your choice then. Use condoms, take the pill, get a diaphragm, cross your fingers, and fuck his brains out.
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