[Hello Blogtown, welcome to the second installment of our new sex-and-dating column Let's Do It! by Bri Pruett. Bri is a Portland comedian whom you've seen at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, Curious Comedy, and Action/Adventure Theater. She'll be writing about her experiences as a single lady navigating Portland's occasionally awesome, frequently awful dating scene.- eds]
A lot of us Portland types are burning the candle at both ends. Maybe you work a day job and night job and moderate a Doctor Who message board. Perhaps you are a corporate job-creator type (thanks for moving here!) who works all day in a tie then jogs the esplanade before hitting your recreational sports league, followed by a 10-course microbrew tasting. Maybe you've got a kiddo or two and when you aren't locked up with them you compulsively attend Timbers games and trivia nights.
Or take me: Stand-up comedian, receptionist, karaoke jockey, board member of a non-profit, barista, and most recently, blogger for the Portland Mercury. Seriously, TAKE ME PLEASE!
I'm so busy I don't even have time to care for a pet. Truth be told I don't even have time for a plant, I've got three houseplants in foster care right now. I'm 29 YEARS OLD AND I HAD TO TAKE MY PLANTS TO MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE BECAUSE I KILLED THEM WITH NEGLECT.
These fascinating Portland lifestyles (barf) don't leave a lot of time for romantic relationships. I think most folks just grab an activity partner or two and cram them in when they can find the time. I describe this practice as “feeding stray cats.” Example “I'll feed you, kitty, but I can't afford to take you to the vet and I'm going out of town for 6 days to visit some friends in L.A. See you around, text me!”
I have the need to smooch, cuddle, bang, talk, laugh, and relate with others; what I don't have is the time and energy to maintain a monogamous relationship, NOT TO MENTION have the social life to support MEETING someone to fulfill all my needs. When I miraculously meet someone who meets my five point criteria (smart/funny/cute/good values/likes me back). I try to let him know what my situation is, and typically, he is super stoked.
I enjoy the stray when he comes around. There's a give and take. I try not to think too much about who's been feeding the stray for the past few weeks. I try to focus on the pleasure of sharing myself with another person, though it may be short-lived. Focus on the laughs, the physical sensations, smells/tastes, the beauty of the connection.
If you are picking up what I'm laying down, hear this: Don't feel guilty. Give generously to those who give generously to you. Thank you for reading! Looking forward to writing my next piece. The subject: BOOTY TEXTS!
Wishing you great love and good sex,
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