This Week in the Mercury

Up & Coming

Music

Up & Coming

This Week's Music Previews


Black Holes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose

Film

Black Holes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose

A Not-That-Smart Movie About a Really Smart Guy



Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Oct 9, 2013 at 9:28 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! We started dancing, and love put us into a groove. But now he's with somebody new. What does love want me to do? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Libya is pissed about the US' recent raids that nabbed two high-ranking al-Qaeda suspects—but the US is saying that Libya gave them "tacit approval." In other words... BLURRED LIIIIINES! (You know you want it. You know you want it.)

Today in Republican stupidity: Now they're trying desperately to convince themselves that "Hey... maybe going into national default might not be so bad!" They believe this because they have never read a newspaper or heard the word "austerity."

And even though there seems to be enough votes in the House to end the government shutdown, Tea Party bottom sniffer #1 John Boehner is refusing to bring the matter to a vote.

And yet, President Obama is still interested in giving these shit-heels a face-saving way out of their political graves. A "thank you" would be nice.

Continuing turmoil in Egypt following July's coup against President Morsy is getting a slap on the wrist from the US government—in the form of reduced military aid.

President Obama is set to nominate the vigorously competent Janet Yellen as the next chair of the Federal Reserve, who, if she gets the post, will be the first woman in history to head the central bank.

One of that gang of motorcyclists charged with beating the driver of a SUV in Brooklyn is actually an off-duty NYPD officer. I did not see that non-surprising twist coming!

An MMA cage fighter climbs up and out of the octagon... in the middle of the match. HEY! Nobody leaves the octagon alive! SIEZE HIM!!!

Headline of the day (thus far): "IRS official says she never consorted with devil." Good to know!

Grossest local headline of the day: "Man sentenced to jail for recording co-worker using breast pump." Not good to know!

Guys, if you're interested in seeing pro-choice candidate Wendy Davis win the governorship of Texas, then it's time to saddle up—because anti-abortion creeps are mobilizing against her.

Locally, say goodbye to those grass eating goats on SE 10th and Belmont—the owner of the land is developing the property (and I bet it's not going to be an adorable goat zoo).

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny today (after the fog burns off) with only the occasional threat of showers over the next few days.

And finally, if you need a GREAT start to your day, check out this kid dancing to Lady Gaga's "Applause"—LIKE A MOTHEREFFING BOSS.

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this thread:

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy