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Friday, October 11, 2013

Portland Copwatch Wrote a Poem about Right 2 Dream Too

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Fri, Oct 11, 2013 at 3:44 PM

The backlash over Commissioner Amanda Fritz's evolving effort to move to Right 2 Dream Too into the Pearl, occasionally ugly and histrionic, has had a silver lining.

It's given Portland Copwatch cover to indulge in some latent literary ambitions. Dan Handelman, the face of Copwatch, just sent city officials a Swift-style poem reflecting on some of the testimony he and others heard at a nearly six-hour hearing on Right 2 Dream Too last week.

More than a few speakers spent time casting homeless neighbors as the equivalent of toxic waste, to the last, a bunch of criminals and perverts and addicts. Copwatch's poem kindly reminds us of all the bad business people in houses get on into when no one is looking in.

We've pasted it here for your enjoyment.

I have heard. (a modest proposal from Portland Copwatch)

I have heard that people who live in condos cheat on their taxes
and keep money in offshore accounts
I have heard that people who live in condos hire escorts
and own unregistered firearms
and snort cocaine
I have heard that people who live in condos beat their spouses
and abuse their children
I have heard that people who live in condos eat bulk supermarket food without paying for it
I have heard that people who live in condos laugh at comedians
whose jokes end in punchlines about homeless people
I have heard that people who live in condos hunt homeless people
in the woods for sport on weekends (a most dangerous game)
I have heard that people who live in condos are one huge medical bill
or stock market crash from living in the streets
What kind of neighbors are these?
I suggest that to protect our friends in the houseless community,
people who live in condos should be relocated to a leaf recycling area
somewhere in Northeast Portland, or under a bridge,
but definitely not in my back yard.

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