ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW If you thought a guerrilla horror flick shot at Disneyland sounded like a great idea, but also sounded like something that would probably be pretty tedious to watch, congrats! Zac says were 100 percent right!

ESCAPE PLAN Stallone and Schwarzenegger team up for yet another depressing reminder that they were way, way more entertaining in the '80s. That said, Denis claims that Escape Plan has a secret weapon: a "brilliant" performance by 50 Cent. Take that as you will.

THE FIFTH ESTATE In her review of Bill Condon's hacky drama based on the WikiLeaks saga, Alison wishes there was a better movie about the same topic. This is that movie.

CARRIE They didn't screen this remake in time for our print deadline, and now we know why: They knew it would disappoint Zac. I'm still seeing it this weekend, though, because of one simple fact: Julianne Moore plays Carrie's mom. I got scared just typing that sentence. Hell, I haven't read Carrie since junior high and I still have nightmares about Carrie's goddamn mom.

HEY BARTENDER Marjorie says this documentary about bartenders is interesting! I cannot imagine such a thing being true, but let's trust Marjorie on this one.

ZERO CHARISMA Here's a fun bit of behind-the-scenes trivia: we fucked up this week and ran this review early, even though the film doesn't open in Portland for another week, on October 25. Whoops! HOWEVER. It's a solid movie—kind of like a Taxi Driver for the Freaks and Geeks crowd—and can use some extra attention. Plus it's already on VOD, so there you go.

There's more, as ever, in Film Shorts—including reviews of the acclaimed Saudi drama Wadjda and Mars Project, a doc about a schizophrenic emcee—and here are your Movie Times.