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Monday, November 18, 2013

The Nerdy Bandit: A Bandit-Naming Shame

Posted by Dirk VanderHart on Mon, Nov 18, 2013 at 1:14 PM

If you required further evidence the term "hipster" is bandied about too much these days, the Portland Police Bureau just sent it out in a press release.

Cops are looking for a guy they've dubbed "The Nerdy Bandit," but it's a misnomer. He'd absolutely be a lead candidate for the title "The Hipster Bandit," if that name weren't already used recently.

See, the "Hipster Bandit" rode a bike and robbed banks. Meh. But the "Nerdy Bandit," has been a scourge to clerks at American Apparels and Urban Outfitters throughout the city since early October. He likes to browse the racks casually for a number of minutes before slipping the cashier a note saying he's got a handgun. Then he either strolls away on foot, or dashes off full speed.

Fault for the naming travesty, it should be said, lies with you, the crime-witnessing public. Someone who saw one of the bank jobs was a little too trigger happy with the "hipster" descriptor. And I guess a witness said this latest perp was "nerdyish" (either due to a well-cultivated aversion to using the h-word, or because, as a client or employee of American Apparel or Urban Outfitters, he himself/she herself is a hipster. We'll likely never know).

Here's a sketch, with the full press release appended after the jump. For the love of god someone catch this nerdy, yellow-toothed hipster.

Portland Police Bureau Robbery detectives, in cooperation with Crime Stoppers of Oregon, are asking for the public's help in identifying a robbery suspect.

On October 4, 2013, at approximately 7:55 p.m., a suspect walked up to the counter at the American Apparel store, located at 3410 Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard, and presented a demand note implying that he was armed. After obtaining an undisclosed amount of cash, the suspect walked out of the store and was last seen walking eastbound on Hawthorne.

On October 11, 2013, at approximately 8:34 p.m., investigators believe the same suspect entered the American Apparel store located at 1234 Southwest Stark Street and presented a demand note to the employee, who ran away from the register. The suspect then fled the store and was last seen running westbound on West Burnside Street. The suspect did not obtain any money in this robbery.

On October 13, 2013, at approximately 6:30 p.m., investigators believe that the same suspect entered the Urban Outfitters store located at 2320 Northwest Westover Road and demanded money from the employee, but this time the suspect was armed with a handgun. After obtaining an undisclosed amount of money, the suspect fled out the back entrance onto Northwest 24th Avenue.

In all three robberies, the suspect enters the store and browses for clothing for several minutes before committing the robbery.

The suspect is described as a white male, early 20s to early 30s, 5'8" to 6' tall, skinny build, brown hair, "nerdyish" (according to a witness), wearing a hat (different in each robbery), yellow teeth, and black-rimmed glasses.

A forensic sketch of the man is being released to assist the public in identifying the suspect.

Crime Stoppers is offering a cash reward of up to $1,000 for information, reported to Crime Stoppers, that leads to an arrest in this case, or any unsolved felony, and you can remain anonymous.

Leave a Crime Stoppers tip online at http://crimestoppersoforegon.com/submit_online_tip.php text CRIMES (274637) and in the subject line put 823HELP, followed by your tip, or call 503-823-HELP (4357) and leave your tip information.

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