So I know that when two people have mismatched libidos you usually tell them to break up. BUT! The sex is amazing when we have it! And we have a really great relationship—we communicate well and fulfill each other on a many levels. But I want sex every day and he doesn't. He's a once or twice a week kind of guy. He feels guilty when I initiate and he doesn't want it. And when he doesn't want it, I can't get him in the mood. It's driving a wedge between us. Do I just not initiate anymore? We both want to make this work.

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My response after the jump...

I don't think all couples with mismatched libidos need to break up, SFTSLAFiP. But if the mismatched libido problem is making one or both halves of a particular couple miserable—if someone feels awful about it all the time—then the relationship has to open or it has to end. I could go on. I have gone on—and gone off—about this "mismatch" problem before. But sometimes the best response to one reader's letter is a letter from another reader...

There was another option you could've suggested to LIBIDO, the man whose girlfriend has a very low libido: LIBIDO could get a second girlfriend.

My husband and I had been dealing with an unequal libido for nearly seven years and it was getting to us both. He was so frustrated that I was only into sex every 3-4 weeks and he could go every day. We settled on twice week or slightly more, but it still wasn't enough. I'm extremely sensitive and could max have sex every three days. (I need time to recover.) He wasn't intentionally rough, but after not getting any, being rejected sexually, and not seeing me as a person but a means to an end, it got rough sometimes. (No, not rape at all, just rough.) This would leave me wanting sex even less. Complicating everything is the roller coaster that is my bipolar disorder, the awful medications to treat it, and the mental pressure to have sex more. It got to the point where something had to change. We love each other, we are best friends and have been through so much together; the last thing we wanted to do is part. It would have been crushing.

I brought up the idea of him getting a girlfriend and it's working out. He sees a woman once or twice a week and they keep it casual. He gets to go out, do things that he can't with me, and bang her. I have a night to myself and it works out great. I am no longer mentally/physically strained to have sex twice a week; I am now relaxed, which amounts to less mental and physical strain. It has gotten to the point where we can have sex twice in a night, twice in two nights, etc, and now I frequently go to him for sex. Because the pressure is off me.

My advice for LIBIDO is try it. If you don't fix the problem you will end up ruining your relationship. Evaluate your relationship to see if you can try this.

Strength, Friendship, Love & Respect

To sum up, SFTSLAFiP: you're gonna have to break up with this boy or you're gonna have to get yourself a spare. Good luck.