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Life, Death, and The Good Dinosaur

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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Chitty-Chat Club

Posted by Bobby Roberts on Wed, Nov 27, 2013 at 9:29 AM


I guess it's kind of funny that the episode titled Repairs was the episode that finally broke me. I'd say "follow after the jump to find out how" but there will be no jump. There really isn't any recap. This boring show traded in its progression towards being a semi-serviceable Warehouse 13 ripoff for 42 minutes of bad Supernatural karaoke, and in doing so, evaporated the last of the fucks I had left to give to it.

The timing is rather poor, as the show was thiiiis close to it's midseason cliffhanger, featuring the return of J. August Richards as the guy that got shot in the head in the pilot, and promised some answers. The problem: I don't care about the answers, because I don't care about the characters, because I don't care for how the premise of this show has consistently been fumbled and botched even in it's better episodes. Repairs was so sub-par I re-examined my previous recaps to see if the show had actually improved, or whether I was just acclimating to the show's uneven badness, the way people force themselves to believe Pabst Blue Ribbon tastes good.

SHIELD has promised a fair amount of stuff, and delivered on almost none of it, so I'm not inclined to believe further promises, and I've spent nine hours over nine weeks waiting for Whedaroen to present more than the half-assed jumble of plots and tones being tossed at my lap in a clumsy, desparate scattershot.

Maybe I'm being unfair. Sure, it's possible. But with those nine hours, I can, if I wish, choose to access any of the following shows:

Warehouse 13
Orphan Black
DaVinci's Demons
Sleepy Hollow
American Horror Story
Hell, even The Walking Dead

Let's say I take those nine hours spent on SHIELD, and spend them instead on any mix-and-matched combination of the above shows. Say, two episodes of Arrow, three of Orphan Black, and one each of Warehouse 13, Supernatural, Dracula, and Misfits. Or maybe even just nine of those titles at random. What are the odds I'd end up spending those nine hours in a much more rewarding fashion than choosing to use them on SHIELD? I don't know if I can calculate the exact number, but I can tell you those odds are pretty fuckin' good.

Maybe SHIELD will make up for it all in the back stretch. But I'm not gonna be there to find out as it happens.

So long, Agent Coulson. Too bad your character got ruined.

Shoulda stayed dead, I guess.

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