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Poets Society


Poets Society

Digging into New Work from Patricia Lockwood and Emily Kendal Frey

Applied Knowledge


Applied Knowledge

David Huntsberger Blasts Off

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

You Get a Hymen! You Get a Hymen! Everybody Gets a Hymen!

Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Dec 4, 2013 at 2:59 PM

This video demonstration of an artificial hymen...

For potential hymen purchasers worried about the mechanics of operating a hymen replacement, the site offers a helpful step-by-step guide. “Insert the Artificial Hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrates, it will ooze out a liquid that appears like blood, not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans and you will pass through undetectable!” the creepiest, saddest, and most depressing thing I've seen on the Internet in weeks. Jeremy Wilson at The Kernel unpacks the creepiness:

If ever there were a reason to be horrified at the tentacles of the historic patriarchal oppression of women’s stubborn hold on modern day life, this is it. In a world where we’re constantly being told of technology’s potential to drive positive social change, it’s galling to see it being used to appease the infantile fantasies of backwards cultures. Depressing, really.

But... wouldn't an artificial hymen that works in the palm of your hand also work in your someone's ass? Anyone's ass? Seems to me that a girl could subvert the shit out of the patriarchy by sticking one of these in her boyfriend's ass and pegging the shit—and just the right amount of a liquid that appears to be blood—right out of him. And any gay men out there hymen envy could order a few. And, hey, a couple—gay or straight—could order a crate and spend a long, sensuous evening busting all sorts of hymens. Pegging hymens! Blowjob hymens! Handjob hymens! Buttsecks hymens! Tittyfucking hymens! Wet-willy hymens! The patriarchy-subverting possibilities are endless!

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