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Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Dec 11, 2013 at 9:28 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I ain't got no money, I ain't like those other guys you hang around. And it's kinda funny, but they always seem to let you down. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Ukranian protesters force the police to retreat after an early morning raid on their camp. (Remember Occupy, guys? Good times. Good times.)

In the year since the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, 39 new state laws have tightened gun restrictions—while 70 have loosened them. (Take a big guess if those 70 laws were Republican or Democrat ideas.)

A gay sex ban has been reinstated by the India Supreme Court after a lower court struck down the law (which was originally created by the British way back in 1861). Thanks, Brits!

A meteor explodes over Arizona, rattling houses and signaling the beginning of meteor shower season.

Testimony in the investigation of the fatal Asiana Flight 214 reveals that the First Officer advised the pilots of the planes "excessive sink rate" more than four times in the two minutes before the crash.

Budget negotiators have reached a tentative agreement that, if it passes the House and Senate, could avoid another of those super annoying government shutdowns.

Republicans are overhauling their primary election process for 2016 in an attempt to avoid the fuck ups that resulted in Mitt Romney.

Unfortunately for the GOP, the Tea Party has big plans to make them look even more ridiculous than they do right now.

Pope Francis is Time's "Person of the Year." Agree, disagree, or don't care?

Headline of the day: "Did A Woman Super Glue Herself To A Store Toilet?" You're right... this happened in Georgia.

A U of O football player was suspended for his role in a snowball fight—which sounds harsh, but read the story and you'll see that he was being a real dickhead.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: A foggy morning will turn into a partly sunny day in the 40s! That's downright balmy!

And finally, here's the best father/son dance routine you'll see all day!

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