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Friday, December 13, 2013

Don't Be a Dick, Rashida Jones

Posted by Barbara Holm on Fri, Dec 13, 2013 at 1:59 PM

It's hard when people you admire and respect disappoint you. That's why I'm so glad no one respects me. A month ago, the very talented actress Rashida Jones tweeted, "This week's celeb news takeaway: she who comes closest to showing the actual inside of her vagina is most popular. #stopactinglikewhores." As expected, she was called out for slutshaming. Her response was to not apologize, but rather to explain the jab in an essay in Glamour this week. Her explanation/excuse reiterated that she doesn't think women should "act like whores" or dress sexually, and that while a little bit of provocative behavior is okay, there should be a limit on it.

I'm not mad at Rashida Jones, but I am disappointed that we live in a society where overt female sexuality is seen only as a way to manipulate men into giving us what we want. Mostly because I'd hate to think that public sobbing has gone out of style. In Glamour, Jones wrote, "So much of it feels staged for men, not for our own pleasure." I identify as pretty much mostly straight (imagine a noodle 1/8 of the way cooked), but one time I hooked up with a girlfriend of mine in the privacy of her room. Another friend said, "But why would you do that in private? The whole point is because it turns men on." No, the point of sexiness for me is not solely to entice men. I like sex for me. That's why every time I have sex, I am one of the humans involved in the aforementioned sex.

In her Glamour essay, Rashida said, "Three sexual innuendos is OK; eight is overkill. " Or in other words, a tiny bit of whore-iness is okeydokey, but any more whorieness is whoreible. Why is some sexiness okay but too much is bad? And who gets to hem the skirt between sensual and raunchy? As long as being sexy makes you feel good about yourself, embrace it, up until the point that it no longer makes you feel good about yourself—then embrace something else, like a puppy.

When women call other women whores or sluts, not only is it cruel, it blames women for our own oppression. Women shouldn't feel guilty for dressing however they want. I think slut shaming often originates from jealousy and competitiveness instilled into our subconscious by a patriarchy that intends to pit us against each other. Well, it's either a patriarchial society, or our robot overlords. And if it is robot overlords subliminally enforcing competition, I wanna be free to dress like a hot badass warrior elf in the gladiator ring if I want to.

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