Words of wisdom, douchelords! Listen and learn...
Dear students of a North Portland University that had a pub crawl last Wednesday: You have hit a new low. SantaCon brings in obnoxious bad tippers, and you guys made them look good. You socially crippled douchelords must have a required freshman course in how to alienate everyone around you and make them wish you were dead. Your shitty mustache is not an ID. Just fucking give your ID when a bartender asks for it.
I'm putting "Your shitty mustache is not an ID" on my tombstone. HEY. Do you have a rant or confession you'd like to share with the world? Drop it in the I, Anonymous Blog—where everyone makes Santacon look good.
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