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Monday, December 16, 2013

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Dec 16, 2013 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Old Mr. Kringle is soon gonna jingle, the bells that'll tingle all your troubles away! Everybody's waiting for the man with the bag, 'cause Christmas is coming again! LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Claire Davis, the 17-year-old who was shot in the head by a classmate in Friday's (latest) Colorado school shooting remains in critical condition.

Even after new tougher gun laws have been put into place in Colorado, many of the hillbilly sheriffs are refusing to enforce them. And their excuses are LAAAAAME.

Four buildings at Harvard University have been evacuated this morning, due to a bomb threat.

The famously private Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, gives a stirring speech in Alabama against racial and gay discrimination. You go, girl!

Meanwhile neo-Nazis in Sweden viciously attack a group of 200 people protesting racism.

Screen actors Tom "Billy Jack" Laughlin, as well as Joan Fontaine, and the great Peter O'Toole all passed away this weekend.

The Pope defends himself against American Tea Baggers, saying "I'm no Marxist." (For the love of god, Pope! Ignore these pigs!)

The FDA is coming down on antibacterial soaps, claiming they could be ineffective AND dangerous. (Hey, just like me!)

Top story on today.... TWO-LEGGED PUPPY!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Cloudy and 45 today and tomorrow. Man. That's boring!

And finally, a news anchor forgets that his mic is still live after the show and voices how we all feel at the end of the work day. I HEAR YA, NEWS ANCHOR!

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