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Monday, December 16, 2013

SLLOTD: Macho Drama

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Dec 16, 2013 at 10:29 AM

Originally posted on December 2, 2010:

I'm a 26-year-old heterosexual male in a relationship with a 25-year-old female. I'm her first boyfriend. She's never had an orgasm that wasn't self-induced. I've asked her multiple times what I can do to try to get her off, but she doesn't really have anything to tell me. There's a lot of trial and error going on. I feel like I'm kind of flying blind. Help please?

This Question Again

My response after the jump...

If she can get herself off, TQA, then she should be able to get herself off while you assist. Let her get herself off while you watch, while you hold her, while you suck on her tits, while she sits on your face. Gradually work your way up to her getting herself off while you're inside her.

Don't make the "macho drama" mistake of viewing the orgasms she self-induces while you're there as somehow deficient or dysfunctional. The more you can relax and enjoy the orgasms she's self-inducing now—the more you can both relax and enjoy them—the sooner she'll be able to relax, enjoy, and, perhaps, transition to orgasms induced by someone else/someone else's dick.

If you want that someone else/someone else's dick to be you/yours, TQA, then don't be an impatient, insecure, macho drama queen about the way she's capable of having orgasms now.

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