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Monday, December 23, 2013

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Dec 23, 2013 at 9:56 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! He’s a rootin’ tootin’ Santa Claus, and he’s on his merry way. He will round up all your Christmas dreams, with a yippee-yo-kai-yay. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Two members of the band Pussy Riot have been freed from Russian prison thanks to a new amnesty law—but at least one of the members is not exactly happy about it!

Mikhail Kalashnikov, the inventor of the AK-47, dies at the age of 94. Fun Fact: The AK-47 is believed to have killed more people than any other gun in the world! WHOOPEEEE!!!

Depending on where you're flying to over the Christmas holidays, you can expect either icy conditions or balmy temperatures! Roll the dice.

According to a top spy there, the uncle of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un was executed because of "business disagreements." My employees know all about that, amirite??

If you want to be covered under Obamacare by January 1, your deadline for enrolling is today! (Unless, you know, you can't.)

Cracker Barrel decides to keep products from the homophobic Duck Dynasty on their shelves because yeeee-haw! Derpity-derpy-derp! (Foggy Mountain Breakdown.)

Twitter takes another professional life. (Or exposes people for being the assholes they are... your pick.)

Seriously, people... TWITTER IS NOT A TOY.

Today Utah's governor is expected to beg the judge who overruled a ban on gay marriage to ban it one more time! You know... just for good ol' fashioned homophobia's sake.

AND NOW, AN IMPORTANT "INSIDE BASEBALL" MESSAGE FROM THE MERCURY: We're taking off starting today to spend time with our families and friends, so Blogtown will be about 37 percent less busy this week than usual. Or if you'd rather think of it this way, it's 63 percent AS busy this week! Regardless... HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Rainy, rainy, rain and 50. (But the week will get progressively colder!)

And finally, Chatroullette is inexplicably still a "thing"—and I'm glad it is, because it gives us this delightfully hilarious rendition of Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" and these golden reactions.

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