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Thursday, January 2, 2014

Duck Dynasty Guns: Because America Apparently Demands Them

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Jan 2, 2014 at 2:29 PM

AND NOW THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE. After getting off relatively scot-free for his comments about gays, African-Americans, and, most recently, 15-16 year old girls, Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson can add another feather to his camouflaged cap: Duck Dynasty shotguns and assault-style weapons. (You know... for killing ducks!) From CNN Money:

The gunmaker Mossberg has teamed with Duck Commander, the company owned by "Duck Dynasty's" Robertson clan, to release nine different shotguns, as well as two semiautomatic rifles and a semiautomatic pistol.

Though I doubt they'll be sold at Fred Meyer alongside the DD coffee mugs, mouse pads, t-shirts and many other inexplicable objects, the article goes on to say that these weapons all share Duck Dynasty's camouflage motif—even "though not all of them are intended for duck hunting."

The pistol and one of the rifles have military-style designs with large capacity magazines holding at least 25 rounds. The rifle has some of the features of an assault rifle, but with a relatively low .22 caliber.
Mossberg's Web site says the firearms will all come with an American flag bandana "like the one worn by Willie," a character on the show.

Because... OF COURSE. Now check out this unintentionally hilarious, and perhaps intentionally super creepy ad for the new DD shotguns. (The duck impersonations at the end are legitimately terrifying!!)

P.S. It took me forever to get around to watching an episode of Duck Dynasty, but I finally did, and while it's not the worst thing I've ever seen, it was obviously heavily scripted and fakier than Mayor Fakey McFakerson's unsuccessful attempt to have his cousin Fakelby Fakersmeyer serve his entire term in office.

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