This Week in the Mercury

Too Legit to Quit

Theater

Too Legit to Quit

Comedian Jim Jefferies Rises Above Cancellation


Sold Out

Columns

Sold Out

An Open Season Preview



Tuesday, January 7, 2014

IMPORTANT VOTE: Is This Blended Trailer the Worst Trailer You've Ever Seen?

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Tue, Jan 7, 2014 at 11:14 AM

A few observations, not intended to influence your voting:

0:03: First appearance of product placement (Hooters)
0:10: Second appearance of product placement (Dick's Sporting Goods)
0:19: Drew Barrymore guzzling Hooters' world-famous French Onion Soup! First giant audience laugh with the crowd I saw this with
0:27: Adam Sandler walks in on his teenage daughter using Dr. Scholl's Massaging Gel Insoles as falsies
0:35: Admittedly, a pretty good joke about a crappy little kid looking like Frodo
0:39: RUN WENDI McLENDON-COVEY, GET OUT OF THIS MOVIE, RUN RUN RUN
0:43: First appearance of bizarre, weirdly specific plot device involving a trip to Africa
0:45: First use of the time-honored "African drums" sound effect
1:03: Fuck it, everyone who remembers The Brady Bunch has to be dead by now
1:06: First use of the most Lion King-y and/or Book of Mormon-y "African men singing" song ever (actually a traditional Ugandan hymn, "The Rhythm of the Saints")
1:12: Black person? Doing jazz hands? Second giant audience laugh with the crowd I saw this with
1:20: Joke about how it's funny when kids say "butthole"
1:21: Joke about how it's funny when Adam Sandler says "butthole"
1:26: First appearance of uplifting music that denotes Life Lessons to be learned
1:30: RUN KEVIN NEALON, GET OUT OF THIS MOVIE, RUN RUN RUN
1:38: White people drinking drinks on outdoor couches cheer after being asked if they're ready to see "the real Africa"
1:47: Second appearance of uplifting music that denotes tourists riding on ostriches ("the real Africa")
1:49: White children dance, black adults cheer them on
1:58: A crappy little animal hangs out with lions; we're told "even in nature there are blended families"
2:00: Crappy little animal dies, jk nature fucking hates blended families
2:15: Parachute shenanigans! Third giant audience laugh with the crowd I saw this with
2:20: Black people laughing at parachute shenanigans, as black people do
2:22: "Directed by Frank Coraci"

More on Film

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy