Former GOP presidential hopeful Chris Christie stood before microphones and desperately apologized this morning—announcing he had fired the top aide who conspired to close most of the George Washington Bridge as part of a political vendetta. Turns out the resulting traffic snarl might have killed a woman in medical crisis. And now comes word that federal prosecutors are on the case.
On the subject of poor judgment, Dennis Rodman—who sang happy birthday to Kim Jong Un and sat with him while a bunch of retired NBA journeymen played the Washington Generals to North Korea's super-powered Globetrotters—now says he was drunk when he ranted about the dictator being his "friend" and how an American political prisoner actively in custody probably deserved it. Rodman is also too broke to pay his child support.
Never mind the Republicans fretting about the evils of healthcare reform. Another report confirms that healthcare costs have slowed their formerly meteoric rise in the wake of Obamacare.
The discovery of several shot-up corpses in cars rigged with bombs, just after a pair of Christmastime terror bombings, is another ill omen for Russia and President Vladimir Putin on the eve of the Sochi Olympics.
Freed from a Russian jail, two members of political punk act Pussy Riot have begun showing up in solidarity at the sham trials of other protesters—conveniently bringing along the glare of the international media.
Allow me to be the person today who reminds you about the civil war in South Sudan and what it might mean for the future of a significant set of oil fields.
The cleric who runs Iran is saying predictably caustic things about the United States before another round of nuclear negotiations.
The polygamist family on the reality show Sister Wives has come out of hiding after a court ruling in Utah opened the door to the legal practice of their lifestyle. They want to continue making money as sitcom-like mascots for multiple marriage.
A Foster Farms chicken factory tied to last year's national outbreak of salmonella poisoning has been closed after health inspectors found a horrible and terrible infestation of cockroaches.
The give and take as tense talks between Portland Public Schools and its teachers union come closer to an agreement could involve tradeoffs between the union's demand for healthcare money and workload limits and the district's desire for more control over hiring and firing teachers.
The swine flu just killed someone in Salem. Condolences. And don't touch anything.
One of the three baseball players elected to the Hall of Fame yesterday loved his sport so much, reportedly, that he once found himself wonderfully engorged down below while out on the field.
SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE GIVE DENNIS RODMAN MONEY SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO THIS. UNLESS THE CIA IS ALREADY PAYING HIM, AND THAT'S WHY HE'S DOING THIS.
