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A Guy Named Frank Reviews Frank

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Dirk VanderHart on Sat, Jan 11, 2014 at 10:53 AM

Former Isreali Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has died. Anything I could say on the matter is shamed by our own Denis C. Theriault, who wrote this earlier today: "My favorite memory of Ariel Sharon? Seeing the name 'Sharon' in various headlines about terrorism, peace, and world affairs. It felt like a pensioner from the Northeast had traveled overseas and kept improbably, pluckily, and whimsically finding herself a central actor in all kinds of awful international problems. And now, after eight years in a coma, it's like that dear, sweet and well-meaning woman has finally passed away."

Bud Clark Commons, something of an experiment in Portland's ever-evolving battle against homelessness, is this close to being labeled a "chronic nuisance" by the Portland Police Bureau. Read the Portland Tribune's interesting piece.

Portland economist Joe Cortright, a long-time critic of the Columbia River Crossing project, warned months ago the new toll bridge would shift thousands of vehicles east to I-205. With the release of a new "investment-grade analysis" this week, the CRC's backers have had to concede he's right.

Alex Rodriguez, accused of wisely using performance-enhancing drugs to become the world's highest-paid baseball player, might have to sit out all next season, an arbitrator has ruled. It's the strictest steroid-linked penalty in history, and it'll cost him $25 million.

New Jersey lawmakers released 2,000 pages of documents related to an investigation into Gov. Chris Christie's bridge-closure albatross yesterday. It still looks terrible all around.

The 1,300 couples who rushed to wed when a federal judge struck down Utah's same-sex marriage ban aren't married, in the state's eyes. But they're cool by the Obama administration, which announced yesterday that, for federal purposes, the couples are wed. I wanted to write "Suck it, Utah," then I realized the state's confused and frustrating situation is still somehow better than what Oregon's got on the books. Suck it, Oregon.

A 14-year-old student in Pakistan died wrestling with a suicide bomber who was trying to get into his school, likely saving hundreds.

Last night was windy. Today's gonna be windy. Get used to wind.


I don't mean to alarm you, but you're caked in radioactive grime. Thankfully, there's a solution.

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