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Everything as Fuck

Friday, January 24, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Fri, Jan 24, 2014 at 9:29 AM

Bombs have gone off in restive Cairo—still reeling from a military takeover and months-old crackdown on Islamists—on the eve of the 2011 revolution that toppled Hosni Mubarak and seemingly promised a new era of self-actualization for Egypt. At least six were reported dead in four attacks likely tied to a growing Islamist insurgency.

They've stopped shooting protesters, but "crisis talks" in Kiev haven't born much fruit, ensuring that massive pro-Europe, anti-Russia protests will build through the weekend and continue spreading to other parts of Ukraine. The country's Russia-fearing president has promised a "reshuffling" of the government next week, but not new elections. Not yet.

Scheduled peace talks in Syria's civil war haven't even begun yet. But they're already on the verge of crumbling.

Edward Snowden, the whistle-blower whose document leaks exposed the National Security Agency's predilection for sucking up innocent Americans' phone and internet data, could be coming home. But probably not. Attorney General Eric Holder won't discuss clemency, although he did mention maybe reaching a plea deal that would let Snowden leave Russia.

Forty-six vehicles, almost half of them box trucks and tractor trailers, were caught in a horrific winter-weather pileup on an Indiana tollway yesterday. Three people died in the wreckage, 20 others were injured.

The State of the Union address will probably see Barack Obama talk some more about a 2014 and 2016 rallying cry for Democrats: Income inequality. Less certain is whether leading congressional Republicans might join the president on some minor compromises in hopes of blunting that line of attack.

Because cigarettes are a fire hazard, and banned from ramshackle rural jails, the tasty vapor of e-cigarettes has been a godsend when it comes to pacifying bored and nic-fitting inmates who'd otherwise be going nuts inside their tiny cells.

Jay Leno had John Boehner answer a question no one else was asking: "I do drink red wine. I smoke cigarettes. And I'm not giving that up to be the president of the United States."

Never you mind those billions in fines and penalties for dodgy practices and lax oversight. JPMorgan Chase's CEO is going to get a 74 percent raise this year.

Doubt Bitcoin, justifiably, all you want. But ATMs, and other incursions from the virtual world into the real one, are happening.

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, BANE OF BASEMENT PANTRY SNACK SHELVES THE WORLD OVER, TURNS 40 THIS SUNDAY. HERE'S WHY MOST OF YOU WON'T EVER PLAY.

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