This Week in the Mercury

Metal Revisionists


Metal Revisionists

Sannhet Lets in Light

Film Shorts


Film Shorts

In Which We Hit It and Quit It

Monday, January 27, 2014

The I, Frankenstein Review You Haven't Been Waiting For

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Mon, Jan 27, 2014 at 10:59 AM

I, FRANKENSTEIN This time around, Frankenstein is SEXY!
  • I, FRANKENSTEIN This time around, Frankenstein is SEXY!

They didn't screen I, Frankenstein for critics, but I spent part of my VERY VALUABLE WEEKEND and saw it for you guys. The things I do for you guys. THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU GUYS. I mean, yeah, I probably would've seen it anyway, but that's beside the point.

Stupid movies can be glorious things, but I, Frankenstein delivers inanity with such literal and figurative stone-facedness that it drains nearly all the fun from its insane premise: grumpy-but-sexy Frankenstein's Monster (Aaron Eckhart) gets adopted by Leonore, Queen of the Gargoyles (Miranda Otto), who, with her coterie of crouching, glowering, winged underlings, is waging a centuries-long war against Naberius (Bill Nighy), an evil demon and a proud member of the one percent. I, Frankenstein mostly consists of a flurry of CGI battles that take place in an unnamed, unpopulated city; presumably, all the non-gargoyle residents have moved away due to either the exploding demons or the heavy fog of dullness. Featuring entirely too many cues lifted from the Underworld movies, a series that miraculously managed to make a dreary affair out of watching Kate Beckinsale fight werewolves and vampires while wearing a skintight catsuit. I, HENRIKSEN Various Theaters.

Your movie times for I, Frankenstein (and, fine, other movies too) are here.


Showing 1-1 of 1

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy