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The Bleak Brilliance of Norm Macdonald



Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jan 29, 2014 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You see, I gotta make you understand. I know it sounds a foolish thing to say, but it don't matter, baby. 'Cause today's another day. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

In his State of the Union address, President Obama gives the big middle finger to the tea-baggy right, promising to spend this year in office combating economic disparity "with or without Congress."

Now Obama's off on his nationwide "Year of Action Tour" to push his SOTU agenda. (If I can't make it, can someone pick me up a T-shirt?)

Politico fact checks the State of the Union address here.

Oh, and this was interesting: Republican New York Rep. Michael Grimm doesn't like a question he's asked, and responds by telling a reporter, "I'll throw you off this fucking balcony." That sums up Congress pretty nicely.

Less than three inches of snow falls in the South—and holy hell, look at the turmoil it caused!

A Royal Caribbean cruise ship is forced to return home after nearly 700 crewmembers and passengers got sick—we're talking vomiting and diarrhea sick.

The Justice Department vows to crack down on the perpetrators who hacked Target, and stole 40 million credit and debit card records.

Indiana state representatives approve a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage—but removed language that would ban civil unions. (Because deep in their hearts they know they're on the losing side of history, and it's only a matter of time before their idiotic laws are overturned.)

Andy Coulson, the ex-media chief to British PM David Cameron and former News of the World editor, has been caught red-handed listening to hacked celebrity voicemails and calling them "brilliant." (No word on whether he also said, "Pip pip" or "Tuppence for the birds.")

The Grizzlies hand the Blazers their worst loss of the season thus far—check out the gory details and hot live blog action from Blogtown b-ball correspondent Rob Simonsen.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Showers with highs in the low 50s-upper 40s through Friday, but the sun returns just in time for the weekend.

And finally, Portland is terrible at eye-rolls. That's why we need to stop and watch the master at work. Behold, the most epic eye-roll you will ever see, courtesy of R&B Divas' Keke Wyatt.

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