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Friday, January 31, 2014

SL Letter of the Day: Fucking the Boss, Take 2

Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Jan 31, 2014 at 10:59 AM

Hey Dan, what's your stance on having sex with someone you can't stand?

I'm a 23-year-old gay man in his first "career" job. A guy who identifies as straight was assigned to train me. This dude is ten years older than me, married, with a kid on the way. As soon as we met, the flirting started. He is incredibly masculine but the eye contact, coy behavior, and suggestive comments have been there since Day One. All of this salacious behavior was initiated by him. I didn't invite this—at least I don't think I did! However, the very first day we met he pointed to his crotch and told me it was mine "if I wanted it."

Eventually I let him know that I wanted the flirting to stop. Since then my life at work has become a living hell. He's much more established in the company than I am, and has the support of most of our co-workers. Now he is rude all the time, won't assist me when I need help, buys donuts for the entire team except for me, etc. Honestly, he's acting like a jilted high school kid!

Here's the kicker thought: I find this guy really hot and would love to have sex with him! I resisted initially because I was new to the company and like I said, this was my first "real" job. You know, don't shit where you eat and all that. However, now I fantasize about sucking him off and him fucking the shit out of me.

I discussed this with my best friend (a straight woman) and she told me that this guy doesn't "deserve" sex. I'm at the point now where his behaviour just disgusts me, but... damn... I want him so bad. What should I do Dan? Should l let him "win" and give him my mouth and ass? Or take the high road and let the asshole stew in his own juices?

Horny But Conflicted

P.S. Please don't make the obvious joke that because I'm gay I may as well get used to having sex with dicks and assholes!

My response after the jump...

First, HBC, it hadn't even occurred to me to joke about you getting used to have sex with dicks and sochis until you asked me not to. I mean, you're 23 years old. I kinda figured you were already used to it.

And second...

Earlier this week a letter writer asked for some advice about fucking her boss. You can read that letter and my response here. The consensus among the commentariat on Slog and Blogtown was that my advice for HMDYMOH sucked sochi. Hell, it sucked santorum-streaked sochi. My advice, according to Sloggers and Blogtowners, would likely get the LW and her boss fired if the LW was stupid enough to follow it. So I should probably recuse myself—right after reminding everyone that I've worked at the Stranger all of my adult life—and turn you over to the tender mercies of the Slog and Blogtown mob, some of whom work at the kinds of companies where people refer to their coworkers as "teams" and their bosses as "incredibly masculine."

Which is just what I'm going to do... right after I say this: If I were you, HBC, and I lacked proof that my hot sochi boss had 1. sexually harassed me and then 2. retaliated against me after I asked him to knock it off, I would start applying for jobs elsewhere. That might be difficult for you, I realize, as this is your first real job in your field and other employers would want to know why you were bailing on your current employer so quickly. But what other choice do you have? Your hot sochi boss is making your life hell and he's probably preparing to fire you. So you might as well start looking for another job now.

And if I were you, HBC, and I had secured myself a new, better job elsewhere, I would hand my mouth and sochi to my hot sochi boss the day before I handed that sochi my resignation.

But what do I know? I work at the Stranger. Tell him what he should do, commenters!

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