GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Nine-one-one-zero-zero twenty-four. Baby, it's an emergency, I'm callin' 'cuz gotta have some more. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

President Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan has been exchanging secret pillow talk with the Taliban, putting a long-term security agreement with the west in jeopardy. C'mon baby! You know the Taliban won't treat you right!

Bill Gates steps down as chairman of Microsoft, putting longtime engineering exec Satya Nadella in his place.

Target apologizes at a US Senate hearing for their massive data breech, and swears they're putting new, less shitty encryption procedures in place.

The stock market took a huge dip yesterday, dropping a whopping 326 points—but slightly bounced this morning.

President Obama's approval rating takes a small jump—but most Americans still think his policies won't work. (And by most Americans, the poll is referring to rural citizens, seniors, and whites. Hmmmmmm.)

Gov. Chris Christie: Still denying things!

Challenges to same-sex marriage bans are taking place in Wisconsin, as well as Virginia.

New to Twitter, author Stephen King labels Dylan Farrow's sexual abuse allegations as "palpable bitchery." WHOOPSY. Cue sniveling apology in 3, 2, 1....

In case you missed it, Trader Joe's dropped their plan to build a store in NE Portland (after receiving a SWEETHEART deal from the PDC) following justified concerns from some in the African-American community. It's fascinating stuff, and a worthy issue to think and talk about.

A disgruntled employee walked into a Benjamin Moore paint distribution center in Vancouver, WA yesterday and killed a manager before shooting himself... because guns keep us safer.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny, windy, and cold through Friday... with a chance for snow on Saturday?

Finally, check out this verrrrry funny SNL sketch called "28 Reasons to Hug a Black Guy"—and trust me when I say they are ALL very good reasons.