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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Meet King, Your New Favorite Actor (And Here's a Trailer for Frasier Versus Dinobots: The Movie)

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Wed, Mar 5, 2014 at 9:59 AM

We are living in the year 2014, and in the year 2014, here is a thing that exists: A fourth movie based on a 30-year-old Saturday morning cartoon that was invented in order to sell toys, with this particular movie starting Marky Mark and Frasier, and also featuring robot dinosaurs, about 800 American flags, and also Stanley Tucci. And robot dinosaurs! Here's a new trailer for this thing that exists, but it's surprisingly boring even though it contains all of the above things. I urge you to skip it and just read the next part, which is about a guy named King, who will soon be your favorite actor.

BOOM BANG ROAR ETC ANYWAYS Dinobots: The Movie also features MY NEW FAVORITE ACTOR, King, who, according to IMDB, plays "Rural Guy." You might remember King from his roles in Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (he played "Laundromat Guy") and Scary Movie 5 ("Upscale Club Guy"); King will soon be seen in Million Dollar Arm ("LA Hipster Guy") and Let's Be Cops ("Upscale Los Angeles Guy").

I urge you to read King's IMDB biography, where you will learn some fascinating shit about King (whose nicknames include "Poli Vulture" and "The Cosmic American"). This is assuming you are not fucking hypnotized by his eyes, but that's probably not an assumption a reasonable person would ever make.

Here are a few fascinating facts about King:

A handsome man with an articulate speaking voice

Manages to insert a little dance number into nearly all his roles

First cousin of Jazz virtuoso Vincent Herring.

Is known for his song "She's Into Star Wars" that he performs at anime/comic book conventions [and] clubs across the country.

Childhood friends with Matt Serletic and Andre Benjamin.

King performed two of his poems/raps on the songs "Bust" & "Unhappy" on the highest-selling hiphop album of all time: Speakerboxxx/The Love Below.

When not working in film and music, King models professionally from time to time.

Likes to race European cars in his spare time.

KING ALSO HAS A SAMURAI SWORD.

KING ALSO HAS A NATALIE PORTMAN AND A LUKAS HAAS.

Thanks to King's role as "Rural Guy," am now 1,000 percent more excited to see Transformers: Age of Extinction. Let us hope that King is in it more than he was in What to Expect When You're Expecting ("Playtex Representative").

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