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Friday, March 14, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Fri, Mar 14, 2014 at 9:15 AM

The Crimean referendum is all set for Sunday—and Secretary of State John Kerry is meeting in London with his Russian counterpart today to discuss the crisis in Ukraine and blunt the fallout from a vote that both the United States and European Union consider illegal. The idea is to persuade Russia not to formally re-annex the historically Russian peninsula (or send its thousands of massed soldiers over the border) until a new Ukrainian government is elected and a legal (though probably still successful) Crimean vote can be planned.

Previously on Lost: Yesterday brought mutterings—and strong denials—that a vanished Malaysia Airlines jet flew for several hours after dropping off radar. Fresh evidence aired by investigators also suggests the same—military radar data reportedly showed the plane deliberately veering off course and heading west toward India. Hijacking? Sabotage? Jacob?

Complaints about federal deportation, especially from the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, are making a modest difference in the Obama White House. (Some 2 million deportations later.) Without promising any specific changes, the president has ordered a review of deportation policies, with an eye on making them more "humane."

Maybe not as effective? Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg said he called the president to complain about NSA spying—specifically new revelations that the government's found a way to hack into Americans' web browsers en masse.

Somehow it's not surprising to find out that shady and predatory for-profit colleges enjoy the backing of congressional Republicans. The White House is looking to crack down on the scam centers all the same, mostly by forcing them to stop lying with promises of "gainful employment."

The Senate has compromised on a plan to extend expired long-term unemployment benefits for five more months.

Target whiffed so hard when it came to stopping last holiday season's infamous theft of credit card data. The company ignored its own high-priced, multi-layered, and redundant security system.

"The lawsuits allege that thousands of McDonald’s workers have their pay pushed below the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour, through a variety of practices. Some are not paid for all the time they work, some have wages docked in order to pay for their uniforms and some are made to wait for hours until busy periods before they are allowed to clock in, the complaints allege.

Arizona—now the latest state to see its same-sex marriage ban challenged in court—could go the way of Texas, Utah, and Kentucky.

A teenage girl , understandably panicked, initially denied knowing the 17-year-old boy her father angrily found in her bed. Her father took that as license to shoot and kill the boy, after thinking he was maybe reaching for a gun. (He wasn't.)

YOU'VE GOT TO WAKE UP PRETTY GODDAMNED EARLY IN THE MORNING TO TRICK JASON WITH SOME BULLSHIT TRICK BIRTHDAY CANDLES.

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