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Savage Love

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Apr 9, 2014 at 9:25 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Let's not pretend, they wanna pack pistol by they waist (men), Cristal by the case (men), still in they mother's basement. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

A high school student in Pennsylvania is arrested after going on a stabbing spree this morning, attacking at least 20 and seriously injuring four. No theories yet on why the attack took place.

Get ready for the shock of your life: The Senate GOP blocks a Democratic bill that would curb paycheck discrimination against women. Because they hate women, and you already knew that.

The Rev. Al Sharpton continued to preside over his annual civil rights conference today, even after admitting yesterday that he assisted the FBI in bringing down mobsters in the '80s. GOOD. I never liked mobsters in the '80s anyway.

Well, it was nice while it lasted! Arizona socialite Pamela Philips was convicted yesterday of murdering her ex-husband with a car bomb—but not before spending years whooping it up in Europe with his insurance money.

Security researchers discover an insidious way for hackers to peep into your emails, social networks, and e-commerce transactions—without leaving a trace. Maybe time to change your password?

Now let's see what CNN is talking about today... OH! It's the missing Malaysian jet! Still haven't found it. Though searchers are apparently hearing "pings." Keep us informed, CNN!

Former WWE superstar Ultimate Warrior has gone to that big ring in the sky.

Toyota is recalling 6.4 million of their vehicles worldwide, due to problems with air bag deployment and seats that move during crashes, which doesn't sound good at all.

Courtroom drama! The prosecution in the Oscar Pistorius murder trial really lays into the defendant, attempting to make him recant his flimsy story, and admit he murdered his girlfriend.

Locally, charges have been dropped against the owner of tuxedo company Mr. Formal, who was accused of pointing a gun (with laser sights on!!) at another driver during a road rage incident. (It doesn't say whether he was wearing a tux at the time.)

Hillary Clinton visited Portland yesterday to talk about "Women Changing the World" and (of course) Voodoo Doughnuts—which apparently is a contractual obligation while visiting Portland these days.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Mostly sunny and cool with highs in the low to mid 60s throughout the weekend. Woooooot!

And finally, a NYC subway car full of passengers panics a rat that finds its way onboard. (Actually, the passengers are more panicked—which makes this waaaaaay more funny.)

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