This Week in the Mercury

Most Bestest Shit

Feature

Most Bestest Shit

A Recipe for a Premium High


Ride Along

Food and Drink

Ride Along

La Tapatia Market Serves Mexican Soup Realness in Gresham



Monday, April 14, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Apr 14, 2014 at 9:30 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Sexy, independent, down to spend it type that's gettin' his dough. I'm not being too dramatic, that's the way I gotta have it. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

A Missouri hate-spewing anti-Semite is the primary suspect in the murder of three people outside Jewish community centers in Kansas City. The suspect was spotted yelling "Heil Hitler" after his arrest.

So not everyone in Russia is psyched about the government's power play in the Ukraine; more than 10,000 people marched in the Kremlin to protest the lying state-run TV, and by association, lying Vladimir Putin.

What could possibly save campaigning Democrats in the Republican swamped state of Florida? Medical marijuana.

Obama's nominee for the Department of Health and Human Services is Sylvia Mathews Burwell—but it doesn't really matter what her name is, because Republicans already hate her.

Today in "Ya don't say?": Democratic Rep. Steve Israel says on a talk show that the Republican party has "racist elements." In other news, the sky is blue.

Today in EEEK! Police arrest a Utah woman after they discover the bodies of seven dead babies in her garage. Again, EEEK!

Terrible wildfires in Valparaiso, Chile have already destroyed thousands of homes, leaving close to 8,000 homeless.

The Pulitzer Prize (started by famed "yellow" journalist Joseph Pulitzer—funny story) is scheduled to be announced today, and everyone wonders: Will stories featuring research provided by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden be included?

Late last night the Crystal Ballroom had to evacuate all 1,500 attendees, because (according to witnesses) rapper Schoolboy Q "broke the floor." You're going to detention, Schoolboy Q!

The Blazers take down the Golden State Warriors in what Blogtown's Rob Simonsen called "the game of the year." Read all the exciting deets here!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Gorgeous day today with a high of 69—but showers return tomorrow.

And finally, if you love to CRINGE, by all means please check out this performance at a social media convention, where a woman sings the most cringe-worthy song ever written, "Let's Get Social." OH... DEAR... GOD. YESSSSSS.

Comments (4)

Showing 1-4 of 4

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-4 of 4

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy