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Friday, May 2, 2014

SL Letter of the Day: The Bi Girl's Dilemma

Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, May 2, 2014 at 10:29 AM

Over the last five or so years I've figured out that I'm bi. The catch is that I've been in a serious straight relationship for the last 7 years. My partner knows about this, and is fully supportive of me doing what I need to do to figure things out. It's never been that big a deal, and I've never pursued it. Lately, though, all I can think about are girls, and my libido is driving me crazy. I really don't know how to handle this. I feel like I'm becoming more interested in girls than in guys, which is funny, since I've never even kissed one. I'm afraid of exploring this. I'd never want to compromise my relationship, plus the whole idea of hitting on girls and saying "My man is totally ok with this" seems really complicated. Any advice would be great.

Bi Bi Birdie

My response—and it's a brief one—after the jump...

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You know who understands what you're going through? And will totally be able to empathize? And might even be up for eating your pussy?

Other inexperienced bi women with boyfriends or husbands at home.

There are tons of inexperienced bi women out there who are looking to explore their girl-on-girl interests for the first time—if my email inbox and the phone lines at the "Savage Lovecast" are any indication—and you, BBB, and all the other inexperienced bi girls have the same hesitation/hangup/concern: What will women think when you say, "My man is totally okay with this!" You know what? The man at home won't be an issue if you're jumping into bed with another woman who also has a man at home. So take out a personal ad that says you're seeking other bi women in straight relationships who are looking to explore their same-sex desires—with the okay of the man at home—and the man at home will be something you have in common, BBB, and not a complication.

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