This Week in the Mercury


Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, May 14, 2014 at 9:27 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Big beats, hit streets, see gangsta's roamin'. And parties don't stop 'til eight in the mornin'. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Following the catastrophic mining accident in Turkey that killed at least 238 people, a violent protest has erupted with people blaming the government for allowing poor safety conditions.

I love this headline: "Boko Haram leader Shekau is dead say Nigeria officials, as nation rolls its eyes." Apparently the government thinks it will discourage Boko Haram members if they think their leader is dead. Now it's time for you to roll your eyes!

Now America is getting involved, flying manned missions (not drones, because they make you mad) in order to help find those Nigerian kidnapped girls.

Could today be the day a federal judge joins other federal judges across the nation to overturn Oregon's ban on same-sex marriage? Maybe? Don't get too excited! But maybe?

Meanwhile, a federal judge overturns Idaho's same-sex marriage ban, and you can bet their Republican governor is spitting mad! "Gol'dang gummint messin' in our bizness! MAW! Git me mah squirrel rifle!"

A US appeals court grants a stay of execution to a Texas inmate because he was intellectually disabled. Governor Rick Perry didn't like that, either. "Gol'dang gummint messin' in our bizness! MAW! Git me mah squirrel rifle!"

A new global study shows that one in four people are anti-Semitic. In other words, one in four people are idiots, which sounds about right.

In SUCH a weird story, former American Idol contestant Clay Aiken won his Democratic congressional primary in North Carolina after his main opponent suddenly dies the day before the election. If it were anyone except Clay Aiken, I'd be very suspicious... unless... that's exactly what he wants us to think!

The 9/11 museum in NYC opens tomorrow... and as you probably expect, this review calls it "emotionally overwhelming."

Tonight the Blazers travel to San Antonio to take on the Spurs in game 5... which they absolutely must win. Tune in for all the nail-biting action with Blogtown's resident b-ball live blogger Rob Simonsen... tonight!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: YAY! HOT! We could hit a record breaking 91 today, so break out your spritzer!

And finally, need to talk to your kids about Michael Sam? Actually, just let this "kid" talk to them about Michael Sam.

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