Gas, bullets, a noose, or the electric chair? Odds are, you don't care! If the government can't figure out which concoction of injected chemicals most humanely murders a prisoner, most Americans say they'd still want the death penalty, but with a return to more old-fashioned means of execution. Progress!

War has returned to Libya for the first time since the Arab Spring. Government forces have begun bombing and strafing the country's eastern capital—the very infamous Benghazi—in the vain hope they might dislodge it from the grasp of Islamic militants.

A Ukrainian billionaire has thrown in with Kiev instead of Moscow—sending out tens of thousands of his miners and steelworkers to pacify one eastern town that had fallen to pro-Russian separatists and begin patrolling a handful of others in similar straits. The revolt may further dull Russia's ardor for expansion.

India's Hindu nationalists have scored a triumphant victory in parliamentary elections—knocking off the party that had ruled one of the world's largest economies for a decade and stirring new concerns about sectarian conflicts with India's large Muslim population.

Hunger strikers at Guantánamo Bay, writing letters to human rights groups, have accused the US military of cheating its policy on force-feedings—denying them except in extreme cases—to make it seem like fewer prisoners are protesting at any one time.

The White House is all but officially blaming Israel for the demise of President Obama's second stab at a peace deal over Palestine. The State Department has called a time out for the time being, to force both sides to solemnly contemplate their failure. But really it sounds like he's washing his hands of the whole affair.

A perceived Republican retreat—on same-sex marriage, abortion rights, and immigration—is sending conservatives into a panic. Several prominent right-wingers huddled at a luxury hotel this week, desperately hoping to reverse their party's baby steps back to relevance.

Charity Johnson is 34 years old. But for the better part of a year, she passed herself off as a well-behaved and high-achieving 15-year-old sophomore at a Texas high school.

Darren Sharper, a retired NFL star once lauded for his brave and bold and courageous comments condemning the mistreatment of women, has been accused of drugging and raping nine women in five states.

Billionaire (and racist) Donald Sterling, still the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, only kind of thinks he did something wrong. Sterling will keep away from NBA games, but his new fancy-pants anti-trust lawyer says he won't sell the team or pay a $2.5 million fine.

Remember that cat on the internet the other day, the one that saved the small child from an angry dog? It's going to "throw out a pitch" at a local minor league baseball game.

FIRE BAD. FIRE SCARY. ALWAYS AND FOREVER. (SORRY, SAN DIEGO.)