I am looking for a device—straw? nipple? not sure what you would call this—shaped like a cock that can be used on a bottle that can be used to feed someone liquid.

Here’s the backstory. I’m a 28-year-old female in a happy, loving relationship with a 22-year-old MTF submissive. The relationship is three years old and at the end of this month will finally no longer be long distance. (Yes we know each other in person and made frequent visits.) My girlfriend is finally graduating college and we will be moving in together. We already have a large collection of basic toys for play, but now that we'll be together, I would like to start training/grooming her as a lifestyle slave and I would like to be able to surprise her with a few really nice props for training. This particular piece is something we really want but I can’t find it anywhere!

I have already searched for something like this extensively. My Google search is now contaminated with "dildo bottle," "cock nipple bottle," "sissy training supplies" and more. Is my best bet really a "squirting" dildo? I'd like to avoid these, since I know they're hard to clean and I would like to use it for things like juice, broth, etc. I would really like to know if someone has a better option, or even where to start looking. I would be willing to pay for custom work.

I have been reading your column since my first girlfriend—a bi, poly, kinky older woman—introduced me to the world of kinky sex. I know if there’s anyone out there who knows where to buy this piece, or where to have it made it is you. Please help a lady out here!

Making Instruments So That Really Eager Sluts Submit

My response after the jump...

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Here you go:

1400546046-1400545787_tmp_calffeedingstation.jpg

They're teats, technically-/anatomically-/bovinely-speaking. But they sure do look like cocks (okay, Silly Putty cocks with Silly Putty condoms on them), they're supposed to be easy to clean ("the Peach Teats thread into place, making replacement and cleaning the feeder a breeze"), and what your girlfriend doesn't know can't hurt her, right?

That Looks Like a Dick is my favorite Instagram account—well, my second favorite.