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Saturday, May 24, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Dirk VanderHart on Sat, May 24, 2014 at 11:22 AM

Has anyone else noticed boiled water tastes weird? Is that a thing? As I begin writing this, Portland's largest-ever boil order is still in effect. That could change late this morning, though. UPDATE: The boil alert has been lifted.

Portland cops arrested a nude violinist outside the federal courthouse yesterday, citing a law that says "It is unlawful for any person to expose his or her genitalia while in a public place or place visible from a public place, if the public place is open or available to persons of the opposite sex." They will look on passively as thousands of people flout that law two weeks from today.

Hard to know what to say about this situation in Southern California. A 22-year-old, apparently mentally ill and enraged by years of sexual rejection, killed seven people (including himself) and injured more in a series of shootings near Santa Barbara. He made a video beforehand describing the retribution he planned to exact because women wouldn't sleep with him. I had to turn it off, but here's a transcript if you feel like being nauseated.

Why haven't Nigerian soldiers been able to track down and rescue the 300 schoolgirls captured by the Islamist guerillas of Boko Haram? Because they're hapless and ill-trained.

Just don't. Ken Kesey's son has launched a Kickstarter campaign to recreate, sort of, the Merry Pranksters' cross-country trip.

Thailand is accustomed enough to military coups by now that life and commerce are chugging along unimpeded, despite the dramatic changes atop the political ladder.

A 16-year-old in Pennsylvania allegedly murdered a cabbie when the driver wouldn't follow his directions.

Hey look! I took long enough writing this that the boil order's ended! We did it, everyone.

Here's the theme to the defunct soap opera Santa Barbara, which my sister used to watch religiously, and which I was way too young to understand. I remember being vaguely frightened by the images in this intro. Because I was six, and that sunbather with the sunglasses always seemed demonic or insectile. Baggage.


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