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Monday, May 26, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, May 26, 2014 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Listen, I'd like to ask a question all across this country: Have you ever mistreated anybody to advance yourself? If you have... it's coming up again. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Pro-Russian rebels seize an airport in Donetsk, setting off a huge battle with the Ukraine government who launched airstrikes and a paratrooper assault against the interlopers.

Following Saturday's stabbing and shooting spree in California, Sen. Richard Blumenthal vows to renew gun control efforts that were shot down by American-hating Congress after the Newtown massacre.

More very creepy revelations from Saturday's murder spree: Killer Elliot Rodgers left behind a 107,000 word story about his life and his "intractable virginity."

Today in "whoops": A top CIA officer in Afghanistan was accidentally named in an email sent out to reporters by the White House. Whoops!

Militant Islamist Boko Haram allegedly burn houses in three Nigerian villages and murder 28 people.

Three people are missing after an "unbelievably" big mudslide in Colorado.

Republican Utah Governor Gary Herbert has been asked by gay advocates to publicly apologize after he called homosexuality "a choice," and said that same-sex marriage will lead to anarchy. ANARCHY!!

A Pennsylvania teenager is accused of shooting a cabbie twice in the back of the head because he thought the driver was "taking the long way."

For those who give a shit, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian were married Saturday in Florence, and are honeymooning in the rain-soaked Irish countryside. (I knew you didn't give a shit.)

Now here's what's going on in you neck of the woods: Showers on and off today with mild temps in the mid-to-upper 60s.

And finally, if you have to work on this Memorial Day, try to develop a good attitude about it... just like this absolutely adorable EMT dancing to a remix of Rihanna's "Pour it Up."

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