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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, May 28, 2014 at 9:31 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I heard that prom night is a bomb night, with the hood rats you can hold tight. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Universally beloved poet/author/teacher/artist Maya Angelou—author of "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"—has passed away at the age of 86.

New Ukrainian leader Petro Poroshenko unleashes another wave of attacks on pro-Russian rebels, killing 50, and backing Vladimir Putin further into a corner.

In case you missed it yesterday, the poorly named National Organization for Marriage (NOM) is asking the Supreme Court to suspend Oregon same-sex marriages. As Dirk put it, "Justice Kennedy, who is assigned to the Ninth Circuit, could act on his own or ask the full Supreme Court to decide the matter. Or he could do nothing."

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel has proposed some new rules that would "restrict gun purchases for individuals to one a month and would mandate that all gun sales be videotaped." Cue screeching outcry from the chickenshit cowards of the gun lobby.

In news of the terrible: A pregnant Pakistani woman is publicly stoned to death by her family for going against their wishes and choosing to marry the man she loved.

Former U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates—who's now in charge of the Boy Scouts of America... not exactly a lateral move—announced that while he believes that gay adults should be able to serve in the Scouts, he's not going to do anything about it, fearing "irreparable harm" (that's already happened in my opinion) to the organization.

Edward Snowden—in an interview with NBC to air tonight—says that while the government may claim he was a "low level analyst," he was actually trained as a spy.

Researchers report, that in the last year alone, half of American adults have had their personal information hacked. Again... CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS!

Also passed: highly regarded Portland keyboardist Janice Scroggins—an Oregon Music Hall of Fame inductee—died last night. Listen to her beautiful rendition of "Transformation" here.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Showery and cool today, but back to the sunny 80s by Friday.

And finally... you know what? This dog doesn't really care if that screaming neighbor has a penis or a vagina... he is OUT OF THERE.

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